A COUNT CALLS

"Ciao, Carlo."

"Massimo!  Madonna!  Com'es stai?!  Che fai?!  It's been years!"  Massimo is one of my oldest friends; Italian, richer than hell, a Count (although the title is very dodgy), sophisticated, disgustingly good looking and while my age or older looks about 50.  He is easy to hate but as hard-wired in Italy as any man can be.

"Si, my old friend it has been too long but I was talking to Larry and he tells me you do this...how you say...blog thing and now you write about Italia, so I say, Massimo, you must call Carlo to see what he say."

"Ha!  Well I say what I always say: people sell Italy short and they always get burned.  I think you get through this.  Am I wrong?"

"No, no, no you are right but managa, Burlusconi hes a making things very difficult with his...how you say...big mouth."

"And his 12 year old."

"Ah, you have become an Americano again, Charlie.  We no care about those things.  Si he may have been...how you say...thinking not with his head, but I could have made the same mistake."

"And La Bella Donna would have made sure it never happened again!"

"Si, si I know.  A crazy woman; crazy for me to marry her, ma no with Burlusconi he gets into a fight with Tremonti, and..."

"I know, what the hell did he do that for?"

"Chi sa?  A stupido.  He thinks he can do anything because he'sa rich like hell and owns everybody, ma Tremonti  we need 'causa he is...how you say...rispetto..."

"Respected."

Si, respected.  He is a man of trust and all of us now all of Europe, itsa in the hold of these bond guys and you must have a man of trust otherwise Arriverderci!"  It's no good but like youAmericani say, it is what it is.  We have spoken to Silvio and I think he understands but with him...I think he has been tolerated--hat's the right word, no-- too long.  You know, Carlo in Italia it is always politics and politics is always the people.   Ma, if we make sure Tremonti does not go away, I think we are all right."  If Silvio goes away...ciao Silvio e grazie.  That's all.

"And the neighborhood..."

"Neighb...?  Oh si, the Greeks and Spain?  Greece.  Who cares.  Spain?  She'sa, like you say, too big to fail.  Not even the Tedeschi have enough money for her.  So we fix it, somehow some way but you no need to worry.  Ma Carlo, if you want to worry, you worry about that Cafone you have running things."

'That isn't nice at all, Massimo.   I thought all you people loved him."

"The people, si,, ma what do they know.  This is a proprio stupido.  Charlie he scares us because he doesn't know and believe me, we are scared.  You know what?  We are also mad because we cannot do anything.  These politicians here?  They hate you because you scare us and we know we can't do anything so they blame you for what they do and look where we are.  No good.  No good at all.  But La Bella Italia...come see us again Charlie, we will still be here and still the same.  We never change."



Ya gotta love the Italians.  Food isn't bad either.

Ciao