GUIDO

"Hey, Charlie, it's me, Guido.  How the hell are ya?"

"Guid!  It's been a hell of a long time.  You out?

"Ha ha.  Very *&^%$#% funny!  I've been walkin' for years as if you didn't know."

"Yeah I knew.  It's good to hear your voice.  To what do I owe this pleasure?"  I've known Guido for most of my life...off and on...when he's not living at taxpayer's expense.  A really good if basically dishonest guy and unlucky to hear him tell it.

"Charlie, you're a really smart guy and connected.  You.."

"Connected!  What the hell are you talking about?  I'm not connected; you're connected"

"No, no, Charlie, not that way.  I mean you know how things work which is why I'm callin' you.  I gotta unnerstrand sumthing and I figgure you can tell me."

"Sure Guido, happy to help if I can."

"So Charlie, tell me.  Where the hell did this guy up in Albany learn how to run a racket better than my  grandfather Pietro?  I mean $430 million just to let this English bank stay in business.  Madonne, you know how many windows and legs Nonno would have to break for that number?  Foggetabbouit.  There weren't that many legs in the world then."

"You kidding, right?"

"Nah! I wanna know.  I wanna get wit this guy.  He's all over the news. We could make a fortune together.  Is he legit all the way?"

"I don't know, Guido, he's a lawyer and was a DA."

"There you go!  He's a crook!  Charlie, how do I reach out to this guy?  You want a piece of this?  Hell, this is better than workin' FOR a bank like you did! You hadda work for years to skim those joints.  This guy does it in a (*&^$$^ hour!"

"Guido, I never skimmed..."

"Yeah, sure Charlie whatever you say.  But I got a score worked out..."

"Guido, he works for the state; he wants to be governor...hell he probably wants to be President.  Breath a word of your idea and away you go again and not to Rikers or the River House.  You go away so far up north you have to learn to speak French."

"You're kiddin', right?"

"No Guid, I'm not kidding.  Listen to me, would you...for once.  Please."

"Ok Charlie, like I said you're a smart guy.  But damn, why do I always gotta be so unlucky.  Bye, Charlie.  Say hello to the Misses.  She's good, right?"

"She's great, Guido, be good and HEY, stay out of jail."

"Say otta...?  Hey, that's a good one pal!  Wadda ya think I am, nuts or sumpthin'!"


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Mr. Lawsky would probably enjoy meeting Guido.  Maybe they will some day.