EUROTHROAT CALLS

My main man called over the weekend. He resides in Brussels for his sins but gets paid a bundle from the Commission. It's a nice life and he's on the inside. I've Americanized the content to protect the guilty.

"Well, I've been calling you for two days. Where the hell have you been?"

"Charlie, Charlie, relax. This has been a tough week."

"I'm in tears. What happened?"

"Well, as you Americans like to say, it was a food-fight at dinner. The Germans were being German, the French were being superior, the English above the fray, the Spanish somewhat irate, the Greeks contrite and the Irish very Irish, spoiling for a fight."

"Yet reports have an agreement being reached."

"Oh Charlie, you know better than that. It was midnight, everyone was most tired and what was put out was a series of unconnected dots, left to be connected in two weeks time. The Greeks got a bit but not enough. Frau Merkel made encouraging noises as to what she was prepared to do IF...and it is a bigger if than one would think...all affected parties do would she wants."

"...And will they?"

"Well, that remains to be seen, but I must say the new Irish on the block simply dug in their heels."

"On the tax question?"

"Indeed, as you predicted, and of course we are now in the game...what do you call it...chicken? We want them to raise the corporate tax rate and they keep reminding us about their banks all of whom owe the continent a lot of money so why should they continue to bail the continental banks out? Is an interesting question, no?" We like our banks just as they are.

"Yes, and shall remain such. And the rest..."

"Ha! The Greeks get a little break but the Portugese yield is now 12% which of course cannot last but about that, no one is talking. But Trichet seems to be saying if you issue, we will buy. Sounds like your man although Trichet even said he may buy direct..."

"I can get it for you wholesale."

"What?"

"Never mind, an old American joke. So what happens in 10 days?"

"I don't know, but funny is it not. They are speaking, not with one voice but they actually said some things I did not expect so maybe they can find one voice in the time up to the next meeting."

"Prediction?"

"I think not. More talk, that's all. We speak as the European Union but we are seperate countries still. How you say, old habits die hard? We still don't really trust each other. It is not like a political disagreement, it is the national psyche syndrome. But the one thing they agree about is that you are no help. I tell you, you say Bernanke and people just shake their heads. No one can understand his positions and why he seems not to listen. This is bad, Charlie, it really is. It should not be so."

"I'm told a lot of people involved here feel the same way. Just don't blame us for your home grown problems. Listen, thanks for the update, I appreciate it."

"I know, Charlie, on this you are right. Spring is coming, Charlie, come visit. Brussels is good in the spring."

"Almost everywhere is good in the spring my friend, but Brussels is too expensive."

"Which is why they pay us so much, Charlie. Life is good."