CINQUE CENTO

Petulant is probably too soft a description of The Leader's attitude this afternoon. He didn't get his way and was damn mad. In not being able to bully a group of bond holders to give up their legal rights and accept a crappy deal by which a Chrysler bankruptcy would have been prevented The Leader fell back on claims of anti-Americanism, excoriating all involved and pointing out the hedge fund involvement in particular. The Leader always plays to the masses; it is generally agreed that hedge fund is a four-letter word...or at least fund is. So now we are facing a chapter 11 filing that will settle things in, according to The Leader and Mr. Nardelli, no more than 60 days. Good luck to them. During this period, the Treasury (that means YOU) will put up debtor in possession financing in the amount of $3.5 billion and make available to Chrysler $8 billion to run the company after the proceeding is over. From then on it's away to the races with Chrysler making and selling, "The kind of cars Americans want to buy," according to The Leader, noted expert on motor cars who just a few short weeks ago thought the damn things were invented by Americans. Hummmm. Buy a car made by the management team of the UAW and Our Hero? I'm not sure I want to go there. But wait! As part of this proposed industrial juggernaut rides in FIAT in what must be the greatest parody of all spaghetti westerns to save the day!

Now FIAT is an Italian car company with a long, long history filled with success and...well, lets just say there have been some downs as well. FIAT made cars for the people of Italy in the same sense that Volkswagen made cars for the people of Germany, just not as well. Fiat is supposed to provide "world-class technology" for this happy union and one supposes they have some of that inasmuch as they own Ferrari which also makes cars that go very fast, cost up to half a mil and use about 5 liters of fuel (high test) to get around the block. They also make Il Cinque Cento which in English means the 500 which goes very far on very little fuel which is why The Leader loves this company so. The problem is the 500 isn't very big; to call it a sub-compact is being generous. Now I hate motor cars and know nothing about them but my neighbor out here in the heartland--let's call him Bubba--tells me the reason the damn thing goes forever on nuthin' is not because of technology but because it's so damn small. Bubba says if the wife put wheels on her washing machine she could call it a 500 but probably couldn't sell it 'cause, "it don't have no Eye-tal-in styling." Makes sense to me.

Anyway, this bunch is supposed to sell a hell of a lot of cars that Americans have never bought before but which The Leader loves, and make a hell of a lot of money in two years...assuming they are out of bankruptcy by that time. It may work. I think I will still keep driving my Acura.

What really is getting to me though, is why FIAT stayed around for this deal. I have a suspicion that they think they can make money if it works and not lose anything if it doesn't. Brilliant, eh? But what troubles me is that I have another suspicion that FIAT may be influenced by the involvement of the government in this transaction making it look very much like a European venue with which they are very familiar. FIAT and the government of Italy have had a close and meaningful (corrupt) relationship for years and both parties have benefited. They could be in for a real awakening for in Europe and especially in Italy politicians are honest; once they're bought they stay bought and you know exactly what you are getting. This is not to suggest that any of The Leader's people are corrupt--at least not lately--but it is to suggest that this mob will turn on a dime whenever the political winds change or when the UAW tells them how high to jump. If this thing doesn't get reorganized in a relatively short period of time, the internal relationships between the parties are going to be interesting to watch. Buona fortuna, FIAT. Forza Italia! I am also going to be fascinated to see how much and what kind of pressure The Leader is going to put on those traitorous hedge fund and bond management guys to fold. Hell, we don't want grand designs ruined by these bums trying to fulfill their fiduciary duties by managing their clients' moneies in the best possible manner. Not in The Leader's America by God!