There was once this good ol' boy named Hugh, who owned him (well, he didn't rightly OWN it, he just thought he did) a bank down in Charlotte called North Carolina National Bank, or NCNB as the locals named it. 'Course that Really meant No Credit For Nobody as ol' Hugh was tighter than a frog's ass when it came to lendin' money. There was this other bank in town name Wachovia run by somebody damned if I can remember his name but he and Hugh didn't like each other on bit and they got into pissin' contests with one another over the damndest things including the size of their......buildings. Got so bad when one of 'em built a new building, didn't the other one put one up that was TWO FEET taller than the other! Wooo-ee! It was more fun than the Heels playin' the damned Dukies for a National Champeenship an' meaner too!
One thing they did agree on was that they didn't like Yankee bankers--no how no way--and bofe of 'em set out to beat those boys at their own game. Well, they started buyin' this bank here and that bank there, and woudacha know it but pretty damn soon they was as big as any Yankee around. After a while, Hugh got old and passed over his bank to Ken who was one of them dropeverythingandgogitwhateverthehell Hugh wants when Hugh was around. Ken was a big ol' boy whod jus' as soon knock you on your butt 'specially iffen you be a Yankee. By the time these two got done they'd bought damn near everything in sight including sumpin called Bank of America which was once Continental...aw that aint important, just you'll know they got BIG.
Now buying these thing meant that had to change a bit 'cause there was still this competition thing with Wachovia and the Damn Yankees, so they started doing a bunch of stuff they didn't do before...like lendin' money to the damndest people you ever saw! And they fancied themselves just the smoothest ol' country boys that ever come along so that when things were looking real cheap 'cause things weren't real good, Ol' Ken went out and bought some more stuff it seems he didn't know a damn thing about and bought 'em from Yankees to boot! Well, I betcha you can see where this thing is a'goin'. Things didn't work out so well for ol' Ken. In fact, about the onliest good thing that happened was that some bunch from California for damn sakes went an bought Wachovia so least he don't have them to woory 'bout no more. Got so bad that the damn D.C. revenuers came in, plopped down a bunch of taxpayer money and said, "Boy, y'all gonna do things our way for the for-see-a-ble future.
Well, ol' Ken let go with his earnins today. Big number. But the worstest thing was the Damn Yankees up in New Yawk jumped all over this good ol' boy sayin' terrible things like, "Ken who the hell think you woofin', boy?!!! Aint nuffin' here make us happy! This be about as real as what introduces Dolly Parton 'fore she comes 'round a corner. You best go 'way and try it agin'...or maybe you just best go way. " Knowin' Ken, I don't think he's gonna wanna do that. All that time on his hands, he may run into Hugh and I'll tell you what's the truth boy, that can't be good.
I simply couldn't pass up this tale told to me by an old friend, but we WILL get around to the Federal Reserve. In the mean time dar reader, you might look into the remarkable exchange between our friend Paul Volker and Fed Vice Chairman Donald Kohn at Vanderbilt University over the weekend. The old Tiger questioned Mr. Kohn's statement that the Fed was targeting a 2% per annum inflation figure as proper for the foreseeable future. I'm out of their weight class, but I'm just thinking about the administration's growth estimates of 4% (which few believe) and thinking 2% real growth aint gonna cut it much less the more accepted figure of 2% before inflation that most economists have dialed in. So I say to myself, "Self, whose in charge here?" Another question that needs to be asked and answered is who is going to be in charge? We shall explore that this week. The good thing is Tall Paul may be back in the game and as my Tar Heel fried might say, "Boy, I'm thinkin' goooood!"
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